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Audacity Works
Audacity Works
Getting in touch with what you want/need to create: Tapping into the Power of Envy, Jealousy, and Anger
Here's a secret: Your shadow emotions like envy, jealousy, and anger can become your guideposts towards finding what you need to create. In this episode, I unravel how these misunderstood emotions serve as an unconventional yet dominant compass towards your true values and desires. These emotional states are actually goldmines of information.
This episode explores how you can use envy and jealousy as tools to create something that is meaningful to you.
Don't go back to sleep.
xoRachel
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Welcome to Audacity Works, a podcast inspired by and dedicated to the working artist, the creative entrepreneur and generally doing the damn thing. This exists on the premise that the world belongs to those who have the audacity to believe that their lives have value. This is for you. Welcome to Audacity Works. I am your host, rachel Strickland, and this is episode number 40. Hey, and it's about getting in touch with what you want and need to create. And this is from my girl, michelle. What's up, michelle? Thank you for writing in. Michelle sent me a lot of great podcast episode recommendations and I've taken all of them.
Speaker 1:I think this question is really juicy because, honestly, that can be the hardest part for a lot of people. I've seen it many, many times like, what do you want to create? And they're like, well, i don't know. That's the problem. Like I don't, i'm not sure what I want, and that can either be that they have a bajillion different ideas all warring for a place at the head of the table, or they just can't land on any one idea to bring to fruition. So you know that you have a desire to create and you know that you need to commit to a thing to create. However, you have not yet done so. So what is the advice for getting in touch with what you want, slash need to create? And that's what this episode is for, and I think that I could give you a lot of really obvious advice. Like, i predict, you're going to go on lots of walks and write in your journal. All of those things are true. You should do both of those things, but I also think that's kind of a roundabout way of going about identifying these things. And if you're a person that can get up in your head and get caught up in your head and the hamster wheel is running, then going for lots of long walks and giving yourself time for introspection and writing in your journal will all be good things, but you're still probably going to be up in your head. So I wanted to give you some kind of more unconventional advice for how to get in touch with what you want or need to create. So, advice number one I want to encourage you to get in touch with your envy envy And I'm differentiating that from jealousy right, because jealousy is an emotion we feel about things that we already possess and we want to continue.
Speaker 1:We feel possessive over things that are already ours, they already belong to us, like if you have a talent for singing but you don't really want to share it with anyone, you're jealous of it, but envy is coveting something that someone else has, and envy is the real gold mine that I'm looking for here. So identify what you are envious of, and maybe this means that you make a concerted effort to consume different kinds of media, particularly if you're in the industry of performing arts. Maybe you watch a bunch of different shows. Maybe you consume a one woman show on one day and then a group contemporary circus show the next day and just dip your fingers into a lot of pots and taste a lot of things at the buffet and pay attention to what you feel envious of and become curious about that envy. What is it that you feel envious of? The reason that I love envy so much is that one. It's an easy emotion to identify. We know it. When we feel it, usually because it's uncomfortable and it can also have guilt and shame around it. I don't want to be feeling envious. It means I'm a bad person. No, it doesn't. It means you are a human person Congratulations.
Speaker 1:An envy being an easy emotion to identify is also an excellent compass, because it points us back directly to what we truly value. You don't become envious of something when it has no connection to what you see as good and worthy and valuable and what you want for yourself. If you're getting up in your head and you're having a hard time identifying what is the thing that I want to create, what's the thing I need to create, look for your envy, identify that and become curious about it. Once you've identified your envy, that's where the long walks in the journaling becomes really valuable, because at that point you have the opportunity to get curious about the envy and ask yourself what is this envy pointing me to? It's a compass. It's pointing me back to my value system. But what is it that I value, that I covet, that this other person or this other company exhibits? It's just such a beautiful shortcut.
Speaker 1:Envy Number two I'm glad that we differentiated between envy and jealousy, because now I want to talk about jealousy, identifying the things that you're jealous of, the things that you feel possessive of in yourself, that you don't really want anyone to see, not because you're scared, just because you want that, because it's mine. It's mine, my own Things that we feel jealous of, that we already possess, are things that are very precious to us, and when something is precious it has very high value. But we don't always think about that in logistical terms. And if you can identify the things that you feel jealous of in yourself, then you can become curious about that jealousy. What is it about this attribute of mine or this possible talent of mine that I don't want to share with anyone? Am I afraid of letting them see me? That's a whole different ball of wax. Or is it just so precious that I want to keep it all to myself?
Speaker 1:And wanting to keep something all to yourself gets a bad rap. That's selfish and you should share yourself like sure if you want to. But it's a very normal, natural human thing to want to keep something for yourself, particularly for your creative self, because the inner artist is a child, a giant stomping toddler. The muse is wise, she's also a child. She wants things that belong to her, she wants to do things her way, and that's part of the beauty of her wisdom.
Speaker 1:So, number one, identify your envy, become curious about that envy. Number two identify your jealousy, become curious about that jealousy. And again, this is where the long walks in the journaling really become effective. You'll actually find things that are actionable. Once you start exploring these two, very easy to identify emotional states And I think you'll learn a lot about your value system. And you might just fall while you're running through the underworld and trip and cut yourself on a diamond. I hope so.
Speaker 1:Number three and there's a reason this is third. It's because it is the one that I would practice last, because the other two are a lot lesser explored emotional states than the third one that I'm going to suggest. And the third one can get a bit muddy because the third one is anger, identifying the things that you are angry about. And I know as soon as I bring up anger the water gets all muddy and it's easy again to get right back up into your head. But the thing about anger that is so beautiful is that it is also a compass that points back to what you love, because anger arises when we perceive a violation of our value system. I'll say that again We become angry when we perceive a violation of our value system. So being angry is really being loving in a different perspective, and if we can remember that, we can see that the things that we feel angry about is a compass that points back to what we truly love and value And that can help us identify what we want and need to create.
Speaker 1:Anger as well has a pretty bad rap, particularly if you were raised as a female. Anger is like a big no-no for most of us, especially if you are raised in a polite culture And we're taught that it is extremely gauche, very un-ladylike the worst word in the world, by the way. I hate it, and not that it is a completely normal, natural and, by the way, unavoidable emotion that comes with being alive in a human body. You may have noticed that I am angry about the fact that I was not allowed to be angry And you know that did come back and bit me in the ass around the time I turned 18, 19. I'm friends with my anger now, but it's still a struggle And I'm angry about that too, and that points me back to my value system And my value system around this emotional experience of anger is that I value being a complete living creature and getting to inhabit the wholeness of my experience being a living creature, and not what is acceptable and what is convenient and pleasant for other people to be around. That compass for me is pointing back to my value system for authenticity And in that way, when I am experiencing anger around this issue, i can actually also experience the love that surrounds the impetus for it in the first place.
Speaker 1:So you might be wondering, rachel, if you're all about people like living fully and enjoying their lives, then how come you're talking about three such unpleasant emotions to experience? I'm so glad that you asked. And one is, i think, toxic. Positivity is disgusting, probably because I fell for it for a really long time when I was younger And that good vibes only thing isn't a full human experience. But the real reason that I am focusing on emotions like envy, jealousy and anger is because when a person is kind of wrapped up in their head and they can't, they're not able to really identify where their value system is.
Speaker 1:Telling a person in that state to just focus on their bliss, follow their bliss and follow their joy is kind of like a giant cosmic middle finger, because someone in that state generally has a really hard time even acknowledging the feeling of bliss And it's kind of like telling someone oh no problem, just go find the leprechaun in the upper right cornfield and do what they say. Good luck finding that leprechaun. And they don't even know what they're looking for. So, yes, i can. I support and want you to experience bliss and joy and happiness. I also know that if you're in a certain state of mind, those are not easy to identify. The abstraction of it just becomes really hard to recognize. But it's always pretty easy to recognize envy That's one of the reasons I like it so much. And, fun fact, while you are investigating your envy, your jealousy, your anger, you might notice that you're enjoying yourself. Surprise, and I think any enjoyment you get out of investigating these and any other emotion that is quote-unquote bad is a beautiful thing. And then suddenly you've stumbled into joy, because that's what enjoyment is Enjoyment, okay.
Speaker 1:So further suggestions outside of investigating these emotional states of envy, jealousy and anger is to call in for reinforcements, and this is where we get to be really vulnerable and trusting of our nearest and dearest. Which means asking the people that you trust, that are closest to you and that have an understanding of you artistically, a very, very vulnerable question, which is what would you like to see from me? Note this does not mean that they get it. You're not asking for instructions. You're asking for a perspective from someone who loves you and understands you artistically if they have any thoughts about what it is that they kind of even subconsciously expect you to create, not taking orders right, this is not a pandering situation, but we are getting a perspective from someone else who is looking at us, who understands us and who cares for us, and just getting to without attachment. What, if anything, they thought you might create. And they may say something that you hate and you're like, oh no, i would never do that. But also now you've learned something new. You have the uuugh, which is an also really clear emotion like, oh no, i definitely don't want to do that. That's good information, so it is worth a shot, and I do think that you should be very particular about who you ask this question, and it definitely needs to be someone who has your best interest at heart.
Speaker 1:Okay, last thing, last little suggestion here for getting in touch with what you want or need to create is to experiment with different forms of creation, particularly things that you think you're going to be really bad at or things that you've never done before. So I think the majority of the people listening to this have some experience in physical performance art, and if you're feeling kind of lost and you're like I'm not sure what it is that I even want to be creating with this, then my suggestion is to go do something completely unrelated to your skill set. Go take a ceramics workshop. Write a terrible poem, draw a landscape, paint a landscape. Paint a picture of your cat, i don't know, just using other mediums, and even mediums that you've never heard of, like oil, pastels Why not? You can get it all over your hands. You can smoosh it into the paper it's good times. Or ink and paper, or learn to play a song really badly on the piano.
Speaker 1:All of these things have a couple things in common. One you're probably not going to be very good at them if you don't have any training around them. Maybe you have some talent that you'll discover. Hey, that's cool, didn't know that was there. But it does allow you to inhabit beginner brain, and if you have been in your discipline for an extended amount of time, you're probably pretty far away from beginner brain, and beginner brain has a lot of gifts to give. For one thing, it is divorced in most ways from our sense of identity.
Speaker 1:So we get to inhabit a realm of creating something and being allowed to be really bad at it because we don't have the skill set yet to support that, and it allows you to make a mess. And it's really fun to make a mess And the muse really likes having fun. And fun tends to be something that we just let fall to the wayside A couple like several years into our study of a discipline, especially if it's really important to us, it's really meaningful to us, it easily stops being fun And we kind of don't really notice that that's happening until we're like, well, this is not fun anymore. But after that we have an opportunity to invite fun back again, and fun means lots of times making a mess and just doing something badly and having no emotional gravity around being good at a task, even expecting yourself to be bad at a task, but it's still a creative task, and then we can still come away with information about what it is that we value.
Speaker 1:So I hope that this has given you some ideas. I hope that you will go out and make a mess. I hope you will go out and become envious. I hope you will go out and become curious about your jealousy. It's going to be a little bit shorter today and that's because I have a plane to catch, but if you try any or all of these things. I'd love to know how it went And if it got you any closer to feeling like you were more intimately acquainted with what it is that you want and need to create. You can find me anytime on Instagram at Rachel Strickland Creative, or on Patreon at Rachel Strickland Creative, and thank you especially to my wonderful patrons, without whom I would not be able to be doing this. Thank you for making this possible. I'll see you next week. Thank you for letting me talk into your ear for almost 20 minutes And, as always, would love to hear from you And go back to sleep.